Sunday Morning

I woke up today to find that it is Daylight Savings Time...normally, I would be happy with the extra hour of sleep, but for some reason i found that annoying. It meant I had to wait another hour to do the things I would normally be doing. Of course, I would be at church by now, but since there was the time change, I am writing. The past weeks where I have not made my presence known, I have been wondering about my existence. There are things that I really want to do and of course there are things that the Lord wants me to do. They haven't coincided, at least it hasn't for a while. I must say, that although my life is very rewarding and has a lot of perks, I am tired. Trying to juggle school, work and my church callings have been really tough. I wish I could spend more time on each of them. I have also decided that I need to start dating. Yes, it is sad, but i could really use some companionship and my guy friends don't exactly provide what I am looking for. It is like when Troy decided to spend time with Gabriella instead of guys hanging out with Chad and them. I know, lame example, but it suits the purpose. I need someone who will complete me and help me become better. For my church calling, I feel kind of lost. No offence to my wonderful bishop, but I really didn't see how making me and Skip co-chairs was supposed to help. We hang out, not work, together. With that, it still feels like I am expected to do much of the work. He isn't exactly self-motivating. Oh well, after all this Prop 8 stuff we will talk about it. I miss being a missionary. I wish I could be close to the Elders here. I just feel distant, like I don't know how I could relate to them. My excitement isn't the same as with the misisonaries before I left for my mission. Do I trust them? I can't really say that I do since we haven't done much together. I had a non-member friend from work over for dinner and that was just weird. If you don't speak English well, let the other missionary speak! ugh! i have been lucky as far as school. I haven't really had to study for anything (I know, slacker!) and I am passing, except for Econ. That class is just hard for some reason. Definitely my attitude needs changing, but I am not understanding the material. I am a 'C' student there. I am tired today. Not really wanting to go anywhere. I feel like i have lost my zest for life. Maybe the move will help. I am excited.